Budget airlines - scam or sham?

Not to sound 'down market', but as a child, I clearly remember being thrilled about every flight. It was not just about getting somewhere in a hurry. In fact, the longer the flight the better. Every bit of it, the take off, the turbulence and the landings were thrilling. The in-flight meals were a delight. The air hostesses, though a little older and heavier, were thorough professionals.

There were always delays, but once upon a time, they didn't just say that they regret the inconvenience caused. They showed you that they were sorry, maybe even cared. They felt the need to make it up to you - compensatory meals and hotel stays were common. You didn't need to be the Queen of England to be able to carry a decent amount of baggage.

The feel of good service extended to the airports. Thin crowds, an inkling of more than mundane purpose, an air of exclusivity even, accentuated by crisp, polished and cheerful announcements, an abundance of trolleys and polite airline and airport staff defined an airport.

Train journeys didn't really make the cut.

Then someone had a vision (rather myopic in my opinion). Everyone must have access to air travel. The airlines must make money on passenger volumes on wafer thin margins. The number of players must increase. The airlines should break even, nay make a profit. After all with the entire populace of this enormous nation in the air (a bone chilling thought to start with) and paying for it, what could prevent
the airlines from booking profits?

Following closely on the heels of the vision, came the implementation. An airspace with two primary operators suddenly had a dozen. We now needed staff to handle the increased volume of work. Schools to train airport staff, air stewards and air hostesses opened up in every
four foot by four foot space available in the city (that this created a class of relatively illiterate people with a river of liquid cash is another story).Highways choked and died carrying people to the airports because now every one could fly.

Got an urgent meeting across the country? No problem! Take a flight (point to be noted, you always could). Squeeze more fun into your holidays by reducing the travel time - take a
flight. This was relatively new. Family function? Fly there. Just bored? Take a flight. Drives are so last year. It was fun for a bit. Till we realized everyone still couldn't afford to fly. And the air lines were still in the red. And we couldn't fix
our infrastructure fast enough (surprise?). And now every thing was a mess.

The airports look like our ST bus stops (though thankfully cleaner). Find an empty trolley, with functioning wheels and brakes (needle in a
hay stack). Queue up to get your baggage scanned. Queue up to check in. Deal with overworked disgruntled airline staff, whose only skill is to tell you in an unnecessary, phony accent that they're sorry, and that's about all they're capable of doing to help the situation. And that is when they're feeling polite. Passengers (now also called guests) are routinely asked to 'kindly' step out of the queue because a trivial issue prevents them from being checked in within the next thirty
seconds.

Flights still get delayed, but now unless you have a 4 hour delay, admitted upfront (which is a rarity, since ETDs are pushed ahead 10 minutes at a time) you can't really hope for compensation or even a meal. At least the airports can stay in business by selling refreshments at astronomical rates. Ever notice the hundred rupee samosa at the airport tastes slightly worse than the four rupee samosa on the footpath? The announcements made by hurried attendants are vying with the railway stations for the 'least clarity and correctness of language' award at the transport hall of shame.

Once on board you scurry to find place for your luggage, which may or may not be available, since the single piece of luggage rule is as pliable as putty.

The Air Hostesses run through the safety instructions charade and are ever so often confused about the name of the destination (I'm sure giving a lot of grannies heart attacks, because they seldom correct themselves).

The seats. Where does one even begin? It'll suffice to say, do I really need to buy first class seats (if and when they're available) to find a place to put my elbows and stretch out my legs and not smell the under arm sweat of a fellow passenger?

The food not being covered by the fare is alright because not every one is hungry or capable of eating on a flight. But when one does choose to buy 'in flight refreshment' does it really have to be clammy and cold? Does the chicken have to taste like rubber and the cucumbers like snot and the coffee like dish wash?
Do I really need to help gather the trash afterwards?

I understand that the vast majority of Indians lack basic toilet training and etiquette, but isn't that something you need to factor in when staffing your air craft so the 'guests' don't need to find out what the guest who used the toilet before them had ordered for lunch?

On a good day, when you move like a ninja through the river of crap, there is still nothing you can do to prevent them from destroying a piece of baggage. Rip it up, ruin the stroller, smash in a corner, or just let it show up open, so your never sure if someone has been through your things. Even if you have one bag ruined every couple of trips, the cost is more than the full fare of the flight. Gone are the days when they used to accept responsibility for manhandling your baggage, and replace or repair bags if they ruined them.

The list is never ending. Luckily international flights still retain some of their earlier glory. But it's no wonder that trains seem to be a more appealing mode of transport nowadays...